When interacting with a woman, it’s great to have a playful interaction. Women like people who are silly and fun and make them feel like they’re a kid playing their favorite game and winning. Play is super attractive and under-used. When you approach have the mindset that it will be enjoyable and fun and light, and you’re 90% there. After you approach her with a casual question, listen, respond and introduce yourself, it’s time for the silliness or play. One way to do this is to lightly tease her, in a way that won’t make her feel bad, but instead just laugh at the silliness of what you said. For example, you can stereotype her in a way that obviously isn’t true. A great example is, “Oh, you’re a country girl? So, how often do you marry your cousin?” Obviously don’t do this with race, as that would just be racist.
You can also play little games with her. Tell her you’re challenging her to a dance off on the dance floor. If you disagree over something not important, like whether or not hummus is better than salsa, you can challenge her to a thumb war to prove the best dip. These are great, especially because they are playful ways to start getting her comfortable with physically touching you. It’s also great to give a high five at some point because it does break that touch barrier and provide validation.
One way of teasing that doesn’t work as well is the “Oh you like [insert something she really likes]? Well, we can’t be friends anymore.” Even though you are teasing, it sets a really negative, judgmental tone, even in play. And you kind of mean it. It can make her disconnect dramatically. While other teasing says I like you anyway, this one says I don’t really like you. You want to focus on the things you have in common. On a side note, the exception is if she asks you if you agree on an issue, you do want to give your honest response verses just echoing her. Being authentic is totally sexy. If she can’t date someone with your view, then you’re being way better to yourself in the long run by writing her off. You’re your own unique brand of awesome, so grow into your best, most empowered self by pushing your edge, yet being true to your passions.