How to Heal a Broken Heart2/11/2018
“I want love, but good”
This is a mnemonic sentence that stands for:
indulge, work, learn, believe, and give.
So "I" stands for indulge. First indulge yourself a little but not too much. Have two scoops of ice cream, watcha movie. But you don't want to go over the top. Don't binge eat all night. It's not good for you. Next, is “W” which is for “work,” so work on yourself. Exercise: sweat it out, and drink the recommended amount of water so you can flush all that pain out of your system. Read self growth books, listen to my channel on Youtube. Then L is for learn something. Join a Meetup Group, take a class, or take a workshop at a community center. Try a new meetup group every week. Take a surfing lesson or a ski lesson! Next is believe: believe that you can have a joyful loving healthy relationship. It is in fact possible for you. It is possible for every person out there who is alive, to have a healthy relationship with joy. There are so many people out there looking for that. You definitely can have that. Because why not? Every living creature is worthy of love and is miraculous in the very fact that they are alive. Next is "G" for give and this has to do with giving your time, energy and love. Yes it can be volunteering for charity but it can also be things like calling up a friend and telling them you care about them. It can be babysitting your friend's dog. It could be talking to a homeless guy and just listening. Because what you're actually doing is generating connection as well as giving. You are nurturing and fulfilling connection in your life and in the world which is one of the things you want. So doing all those things is a great part of getting over a broken heart.
Decide it's over. Practice self love. Say, “I love myself” three times a day. Say things you are grateful for. Do fun things. Take it one day at a time. Believe. Know that you can have a healthy happy, joyful relationship. What you believe, you can achieve.
Here’s a good healing ritual. Draw a picture of a woman with open arms towards you and a smile on her face. It can be a stick figure. All around her, write all the things you'd love to have in a woman. Don't write the things you don't want to have. Write the positive things you do want. For example, you probably don't want someone who is mean, so write "kind" on your drawing. Now take this drawing and put it on your wall, or in a drawer that you open every day. This is not your list of requirements for a woman. This is your list of possibilities. You're aware of your wish list now in the back of your mind so now you'll be more open to seeing possibilities and taking action on them. Your dream girl might only have have a few of the qualities from your list, but it will feel right.
However, you may need some time to be single for a while and heal and grow. So the list will work when you are ready.
Also, sometimes after a while of having our full wish list, we’re ready to narrow it down. Then it's time to make a new request and narrow it down to 3 qualities you want and 3 deal breakers. This helps you see and get possibilities faster because it's so pinpointed. There will be another blog on that.
Here's an action list to get you started on healing your heart. See if you can make your own, too:
1. Indulge a little but not too much:
- have a couple scoops of ice cream.
- watch an hour of tv or a movie. Try to make it something that's going to make you feel good
- get a massage
2. Work on yourself:
- do some yoga with a YouTube video
- go on a walk or jog around the block
- read a self growth book that empowers you
3. Learn something:
Attend a meetup.com group
- Sign up for a weekend workshop
- Take skiing or surfing lessons
- Sign up for a community center class
- Practice saying, “I believe I can have healthy joyful love.” Or say it in the way that feels good to you.
- Practice loving yourself. Say, "I love myself" three times a day. Come up with a reason to love yourself that is something that can never change until you are no more.
5. Give something:
- Volunteer at a homeless shelter
- Call people you care about and ask them what's new and listen well
- Take a friend out for ice cream
- Babysit a friend's kid or walk their dog